Spiritual Growth

What is Crippling you??
Don't let your past cripple you from moving forward towards spiritual growth. For a long time I was asked to sing at churches and wouldn't do it because I knew i wasn't "where I needed to be spiritually". I wanted to stop the sins i was doing but didn't really know how. But the things i didn't "get" then was that we will NEVER be where we "need" to be. We will never be "good enough" to get to Heaven,and that's ok because He died for that....Quit fighting a fight that has already been won. And Let Him mold you. I have repented from the sins He has revealed to me and will have to repent from others as well, but now i help lead worship at my church, I help with church functions, I've made goldy friends, have an outstanding goldy boyfriend(who is away serving our country at this time), and I am closer to God than I have ever been.

Staying Focussed:
"Praying to God at the start of your day isn't putting God first, putting Him the center of EVERYTHING is putting Him first" - Joyce Meyer


 To be completely honest ,I really have a hard time staying focussed throughout my day on centering everything in Christ, (I have Christian ADD :)) So I make a routine throughout my day and week so i don't let unnecessary things get me sidetracked.
                 
              Examples:
 Quiet time in the car: I despise driving! I think it wastes so much time, and i'm not good at it so i get stressed out. I decided a few months ago to fill my driving time in the morning with prayer time as well. I'm by myself, i'm on my way to work to start my day why not use that time for prayer instead of jamming to the radio?

Praise music at work: I work in an office and music makes my day go by faster and helps me be in a chirpy mood, I listen to positive music. Pandora is my best friend!! my fave christian artists are :needtobreathe, steven cuis chapman, 4Him, Kari Jobe, Casting Crowns,& Ben Rector. Occasionally i'll listen to 80's and country, depends on my mood. like to keep it fresh.

Quiet time at Lunch: at lunch time weather i have anything to eat or not I always try to go outside the office. and either have quiet time to fellowship with someone on my break.

Making time after work: After work usually i just want to take a cat nap bc even though i don't do anything strenuous i hate staring at the computer all day and it makes me tired. But i really try to fight that by trying to whip up something healthy for supper as soon as i get home.

Your body is a temple: After i eat I have my time to relax and let my food digest, which is usually when i get to talk to ryan on the phone. After that I get ready to do my workout that day.

Quiet time: When i get back home it's time to read my bible and pray.

I would be lying if I said I don't ever feel obligated to put Christ first, i feel like it's a chore at times. But more often I love to spend time with Him!!

My church has church sunday morning,College small group, and wednesday night service.
I try my best to make it to all 3 because we really need fellowship with our brothers and sisters, and others helping us stay focused on why we are here.
Put Him in the center of everything!!!
Your workout and diet goal should be to be healthy so you can live longer to spread His word.
Your relationship with people should be there to glorify Christ.
Your music and movies you watch to be monitored so that you don't pollute your heart and mind.
Your attitude towards strangers, rude people, nice people, common friends should always reflect the love of Christ.
Your wardrobe shouldn't be so revealing that you can see everything that you have.
You should be sensitive and sincere to others' feelings
Disciple and not judge.
Talk to Him every hour, thank Him, ask Him,worship Him.
Read the word.
Get involved with your church and use your gifts that He gave you for Him!

Spiritual Growth:
In order to grow you must:
                      Read His word+ Pray+fellowship+focus=spiritual growth.

We can't grow unless we are focussed.
 "If you are not running into the devil you are running with him" Josh Swindle.

Philippians 3:12-14

New International Version (NIV)

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Dating a Military man

Our Very First picture we ever took :)

Ryan first caught my attention after getting countless notifications of him liking ALL of my pictures on facebook. I decided to check check out who the hottie was behind his mysterious profile picture...

(this is what the picture was at the time)

As I "creeped" his profile I soon discovered that he had dated one of my good friends in high school in 2009. I was skeptical at first but it had been a few years since they had been together and she is engaged so i decided not to write him off just yet.

Our conversations started on a picture of him mudding and then led to a message, a phone number, and a date! I still wasn't convinced that I was going to keep him around but I figured " why not give him a chance?" ( cocky, i know;))

First date, we went to dinner at olive garden and he let me pick the movie. Without checking it out I picked "this is 40". WORST movie ever  for a first date! We spent most of the time covering our eyes from the gross nudity and talking about "how great I am at choosing movies!"  (needless to say I am not allowed to pick the movies anymore;))

But it made a funny story and a good laugh regardless;)

Apparently he wasn't too disappointed because,I got asked on a second date, then a third and soon after we spent everyday together since!!! This was the first time i had spent every waking moment with someone other than work(and he never got on my nerves!!). He was the first guy who I ever dated that believed the same as I did spiritually and was open to talking about it. We went to church together,(something interesting,we went to the same church for two years before we started dating and never saw each other), prayed together, played ball together, went on hikes, he took me to my first circus!! We just had a great time enjoying each other with no pressure. 

About a month into dating Ryan and I were at the park when he got "the call" about him having to leave. We really didn't talk about it much, we just spent time learning things about each other, and honestly i wasn't too worried.  As the weeks went by I had grown a romantic love for ryan faster than I had ever felt for anyone before, and even this was a different feeling than I had ever had before. It felt like a healthy love, God was the center of our relationship and we trusted him to take care of what was meant to be or not(to stay together during deployment). When i noticed my feelings getting stronger, I knew it was time to pray for God's will. God just kept telling me to "wait on him". Therefore I am still with him and I am waiting on his safe return like God commanded me to(And I wouldn't have it any other way). I don't know what the future holds, this could just be a learning experience for us but I trust that God has my best interest at heart and that He knows what is best. :) As a going away present I got Ryan a new study bible (leather) with his name engraved on it.(his dog chewed up his old one) and a 1 year devotional(jesus calling) so he can stay focussed on what he is really here for.

We were only together for 3 months before he left and we knew that if we make it through this deployment it will only be because of God's strength and that He allowed it, not us. 

He has been gone for 3 months now and we have 7 more to go! Some days are harder than others, satan tries to use our situation for discouragement at times, but we are still just as crazy about God and each other if not more than before. 

(our last pictures together)

I try to send him sweet messages every now and then, write letters every month(i try to at least), have a picture project for us to to , and send him care packages. Skype has really came in handy as well as facebook messaging, and an app called "couple". 

Here are some projects i've already done.(pinterest comes in handy)

^I made a "countdown jar" of marbles. I put a marble in a jar a day for a year and when its full it's a pretty decoration and a great story.:)

^My "ryan & Shelbi shelf" in my living room, made by an old ladder.

^When I went to the beach i wore an american flag swim suite  and wrote him in the sand to show support and love for ryan , letting him know i miss him!

. ^And on 4th of July i wore his favorite ,Superman, and sent him a picture for an i love you picture!

OUR picture project!!! 

^aren't we cuuute?!

CARE PACKAGES!!!

Package I got from ryan:

^ A silver keep sake box with our Bible verse engraved in top and a letter he wrote me inside!! and a beautiful charm bracelet with an anchor, heart, and cross charm with my fave verse "Hebrews 6:19" in it And our names engraved on it!!!! Probably the most thoughtful gift I have ever gotten!!!

^Ryan loved me to scratch his back(he's such a ham;)) so I sent this in one of his packages:)

My next project is sending him a comfy pillow and sending awesome diy pillow cases like these!!!!

Stay tuned for more updates throughout the seven months!!! thank you for all your prayers and support. Thank you to ALL of our troops!!!!

(OUR VERSE):)

Me vs. Satan

"Lord,I'm simply "just tired". Tired of my parent's divorce drama. Tired of satan poking at me EVERY second. Tired of being held prisoner of worry. Tired of having to learn to love people who I know don't "care" about me. Tired of crying. Tired of caring about being embarrassed of what people think and say about my family in town. Tired of hurting. Tired of being so sensitive. I AM TIRED, LORD!!! HELP ME!!!!" -My pity party of a prayer this morning

I LOVE to talk to the Lord!! Even when I don't know what to pray about, I don't really have anyone i can really vent to or talk to about how i really feel about everything so I just vent to Him. Tell Him how I'm feeling. ( I try not to expect "too much" out of people so I try not to tell people what I don't want the whole world to hear , if I can help it.) 

Many of times, I think when I come to God with my "pity party" I think He is going to bless me with this awesome, overwhelming peace, and comfort....WRONG!!!  There is a difference in wanting His promise so bad that you grieve over it , and just having a "woe me" moment. It's safe to say that God put me in my place today.
             
                      . His reply(I get this quite often): 




                                           "Do you not  think I was tired when I carried the cross up the hill to be crucified for YOUR sin?! Do you not think I was tired when I was whipped and mocked by the same people I was dying for?! I created you! Lived on earth to relate to you! Died for your sin so you didn't have to! Still gave you a choice to choose me and be free, or to live in damnation! I forgive you daily and love you unconditionally! I will cover your sin at the gate so you may enter my house! I prepare a place for you in My perfect home!!! Worry should be your least!!! I make it about YOU everyday when I forgive you and wipe your slate clean, is my grace not enough for you shelbi??? YOU ARE HERE FOR ME!!!"

Ah! I hate it when He is right!(but thankful) With this truth came comfort, I opened up my bible to a random place (ever done that?) , it opened up to Matthew 13:1-43 The Parable of the sower.( Here is the whole scripture if you want to read it :biblegateway/ Matthew 13:1-43)  

 Jesus told the parable of a farmer planting seeds. Some were eaten by birds, Some were dried up by the sun, some were choked by thorns, and the other grew on good soil. He used this parable to describe the people. 
    This was the verse that hit close to home; 
22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.

I worry worry worry about EVERYTHING!!! I have worried about so many things all of my life that i don't even realize it anymore. Then finally a comfort at the end for justice against the devil...

“The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.

40 “As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. 41 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears, let them hear."

I really struggle with trusting God to mold me and i grow weary a lot because i like to take my problems back even after i say "i give it to Him". The devil knows that and he tries every opportunity that he can to take advantage of my weaknesses. It's not easy but even though we are "tired" it's not about us... it's about Him!!!! We have to keep going, He won't leave us!! He promised :

 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

                                              Deuteronomy 31:6

If you ask Him He will make you grow taller than "the weeds" and restore your soul!! 

What a mighty God we serve AMEN?! Praise Him today!!! The devil has not won!!!

Insecurity Part 2

"My female friends on facebook, regardless of age. I see posts every now and then that compare SUPER skinny actresses or models with a woman like Marilyn Monroe and they say how a woman with curves is truly beautiful or sexy or hot. Don't stone me for this but any woman who posts that is completely wrong and very misguided. Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol. That's not sexy or hot. Now I believe that on many different levels all women are beautiful. You're daughters of the Most High King after all! Go look in scripture and read about Ruth, or Sarah, or Deborah, Mary, Elizabeth, all these women of God. That is beauty, ladies. I dare say that's hot. Yes, I just called the mother of Jesus Christ hot. You keep your skin and bones supermodel, or your morally bankrupt sex symbol. I'll stick with real beauty." 
                             -(a post from wise guy friend of mine from church) Andrew Brymer


If you have been reading my blog regularly you've probably read my first post "Insecurity", if not go read it first before this one.

As I have grown in Christ everyday, and learned something new everyday I have come to the realization that "when you become more confident in who you are in Christ, that overwrites any confidence that you could ever have in the flesh". When you are solely in love with Christ and walking with Him , you honestly find that you don't have time to stop and worry about "how sexy you are "or "is someone paying attention to me"?? When we realize that we were put on this earth for HIM, and it's all about Him, and that we are ALL a servant of HIM , it's easier to put things in perspective. Then instead of wasting your energy on jealousy,  selfishness,and being proud ,we are humbled. We realize that we are not the center of the universe and those selfish desires are really silly.

God made some women naturally attractive to society for a reason, i believe. And some that would struggle with that. Not because He liked one more than the other but He gives everyone different gifts.
Beauty is fleeting and not something to obsess over. But then again we are called to take care of our bodies. Everything in moderation. Don't kill yourself to be thin, just exercise regularly and eat healthy so you can live longer to spread the gospel. Want to wear make up and nice clothes... get up, get ready, and don't think anything else about it.

God used all sorts of women in the bible for His glory,
A Virgin:Mary,
A Queen:  Esther,
A Harlot:Rehab  
A Slave: Hagar 
-Exodus 9:16

How do you think Rehab would feel if she compared herself to Mary?? She would probably feel guilt and shame, after God had already forgiven her. If she would've done that instead of trusting God, God could've still used her, but she could've hindered that by letting her insecurities take over.

That's what we do today, we compare ourselves to these women who are not perfect but we feel are superior to us, and to make ourselves feel better, we put down the ones we feel superior to, and the ones we are jealous of. To say again , we are all sinners, none better, we are all the same. Therefore we are crippling ourselves with this pride, and selfishness, and love for things that do not matter!!

I struggle with this sin everyday and have to fall on my face before God and pray about it, but He will mold you if you ask Him. My point being:
          Quit trying to compete, quit letting insecurity cripple you from being less than God had planned for you. You can overcome ANYTHING with the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to mold you into the godly woman that He has planned for you to be, and then you too can be used for His glory in a way that you could NEVER do alone. 

Praying vs.Praying with FAITH

Prayer is very important in a Christian's life. I believe it shows our love for Him as an act of talking and spending time with Him .God is still powerful and still does miracles, but i think the problem with  prayer now a days is people don't know how! Don't get me wrong , God hears your prayers and knows your heart but there is a difference in "praying, and praying with faith."   Knowing that" He can" and that "He will" are two different things.
Now with that being said, i believe we also have to understand that Learning "how to pray" all starts with scripture... knowing what His will is and what His promises are. 
There is a difference between believing what God promises and praying for things you'd like to be true. When you start praying biblically more prayers will be answered and you will see the Holy spirit grow in you!!

  This weekend I had a lot of alone time with God. I knew that I needed it without distraction so I canceled all of my plans and just sat at home and let the Holy spirit speak to me, while I prayed and read my bible as well. On the way to church sunday I said this prayer, 
                 " Lord, i really want to be used for Your glory and I want to grow in You so much, and my light to shine so bright that people could NEVER say that i accomplished these things in myself ALONE.... But that I rise above through Your spirit so high that there would be NO DOUBT that You are living in me and that YOU are the one worthy to be praised! Give me a NEW experience in worship with You today and let me learn, and unveil a new mystery in Your word. Convict me, and reveal to me the sins in my heart that i have gotten so used to, that i see nothing wrong with anymore. Help me not to take on these projects of sin by myself, help me to trust you to mold me into the godly woman you want me to be, because I want nothing less the Your best!!!"

I got what i asked for. The Holy spirit overwhelmed me with great joy for Him when i worshiped and the convictions and revealing came. I did not get discouraged, because although I have soooo much to work on(and always will) I finally am "ok" with letting God mold me, because no matter how hard I try I can NEVER be what He wants me to be without HIM!
I get SUPER excited when I see evidence of Christ changing my life and my heart because I think, " How cool is it that the people i read about in the bible like Moses, Mary, Jonah, Sarah, Ruth, & Esther, were molded by and served the same most powerful God that is still today?!"  I am just simply AMAZED! It's not about getting up trying your best and failing everyday, it's about surrendering and letting Him mold YOU!!



Verses of the day:

Verses of the day:

"Crazy Love" Book by Francis Chan

I read a new book in the past month and it really challenged my walk with Christ and helped me open my eyes to a lot of things and changed me. It's called Crazy Love by francis chan.
 I heard Francis speak for the first time ever at a conference called "Passion (2013)"  it is held at the Georgia dome every year around new years.
I heard about his book through a friend in our college group at church and asked to barrow it. (Now if you grew up with me, you would have a common knowledge that I DO NOT READ! and you can probably tell by how bad my grammar is and all of my other errors.ha ) I was intrigued by Francis' message in January and wanted to hear more!!!  Francis chan sermon at passion 2013
I really encourage you to read this book, if it convicts you, follow that and be willing to be challenged and not to settle for lukewarm Christianity!

How I overcame Depression

My parents are currently in a divorce and have been for the past year. They were together 20 years, and no one (not even myself)EVER saw it coming due to the Christian, "Leave it to beaver" like family lifestyle we had. We did EVERYTHING together.
All of a sudden, out of the blue, my sheltered, rose colored world came crashing down. Being the oldest I got told a lot more of what was going on than my younger siblings but as someone that was sheltered most of her life, it was a bit overwhelming to know everything that went on. I had a lot of things revealed to me at a very fast and short amount of time. I didn't know how to handle it. No matter how hard I looked I could not find any verse in the bible that said " shelbi, this is how you handle your parents divorce, and "this" parent is the one telling the truth and "this" parent is lying." Therefore i did not see any point in going to God with my problem. So when i was not working, i slept my life away, started having suicidal thoughts. I went to a doctor and a therapist soon after and was diagnosed with depression. I started taking medication for my depression and felt better as far as having the will to get out of bed. But there was still something missing(God). I moved out away from mom and dad and shared an apartment with a friend in maplewood at wallace state college. (not the best place for a naive girl, fresh out of highschool,going through a hard time,never been exposed to drinking or drugs.) I soon became broke because i didn't know how to manage money nor knew how to live on my own. Therefore I could not afford my medication or even a visit at the doctor. My depression worsened and the family drama grew. I started drinking to numb my pain. Started hanging with the wrong crowd. Soon it became worse and i would be drunk almost every night because my life and my problems were just too much to bare.(this may not seem like such a hard time to you, but when you are depressed you look at things totally different.)  As i went to parties i was exposed to drugs for the first time. Even though i felt like i was so far down that God couldn't possibly care about me anymore, He gave me enough clear mindedness and strength to say no to any drug, cigarettes, or anything else i didn't know about.(I didn't think that was because of Him at the time but now i know).( And i can honestly say i have NEVER done any drugs, nor smoked anything even to this day.) As i started drinking more and having more fun going to parties i started to alter my values and boundaries. In such a short amount of time I had went from, the goody two shoes, always smiling, always happy, secure in Christ girl in highschool to a bitter, rebellious, smart alec, immature, unstable, party girl. Many days i felt like a filthy failure and wanted to just die. One day i woke up from a party i had went to the night before, the hugest migraine i had ever had and the bitter taste of alcohol in my mouth, i walk outside to beautiful weather and sunshine. I couldn't even enjoy it because of my horrible hangover. That day it just hit me, something just clicked in my little noggin. I do not want to live the rest of my life running, and living like this. Then i remembered what a good friend of mine told me back in highschool (when he embraced his calling to preach) "Shelbi, He is right where you left Him. All you have to do is go back and grab His hand again. He will lead you." (Brian Stephens)
That day I fell face down before the Lord , I wept, i repented, and He revived me once AGAIN! I moved out of maplewood, chose to live with my dad (bc he was the strictest parent)  and decided I did not want to rely on anti-depressants, people, alcohol, or circumstances for the the sake of my happiness. So i asked God to heal me, and healed me HE DID!!! It took quite sometime of trials, quite a bit of tears, and a lot more mistakes, but I FINALLY have joy through Christ , and Christ ALONE!!!! It has been a process, but I am happy to say I have pure joy in my heart  no matter the circumstances or people in my life! Only something God could do.And I am growing in Him everyday! If you only knew me you could see how much i have changed for the better in the past year. I still struggle everyday. ((Satan only messes with the one's who are powerful in Christ)). But my God is BIGGER!  The verse Romans 8:28 is what I clung to for comfort.

   
Trust is key! and praying with Faith!
Love,
   Shelbi