Take Up Your Cross, And Follow Me

Luke 9:23

New International Version (NIV)

23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

As I have read "crazy love", "Forgotten God,and taught "follow me" to students, God has revealed to me little by little what it really means to "take up the cross"... living radically changed.

I think in our day to day lives, when the littlest thing goes wrong such as, our car running out of gas, our family dog dying, an angry customer at work, etc. we think that by us "getting trough the day" without throwing a fit is "taking up the cross" and a sacrifice. Which in some cases is, but that's not as sacrificial as having to "love" people who cheat you, "loving" someone who wants to kill you. "forgiving" someone molested you as a child. "Forgiving" the rapist. "Trusting" God ,when you lose your home, your family, your spouse... everything. That is more sacrificial, don't you think?? 

Taking up the cross and following Him means letting the Holy Spirit guide you... surrendering... repenting from your sin..turning away and literally "follow Him".

In today's society(including myself), we tend to get caught up in our fast pace daily lives and "fit" God into our lives. In reality, He is our life... He made us.... He is our air, our spirit, why we are living. And we proceed to say
                                " Jesus, do you want to join the party of my life with this sin, my addictions, this destructive relationship, and we'll  just coexist together??" As if we are asking Him to bless our sins.

Instead of (what it should be):
                    " Jesus, You are the best thing that has happened to me!! I want to turn from all sin and selfishness that rules me. I want to let it go and walk in You! ONLY YOU. You  are my life now. Help me walk away from the enslaving, worthless things in life."
See the difference??  Centering your life around Him.

It doesn't take a great power and forgiveness to get over an angry customer at work, to control road rage, not to cuss, or to simply make it to church on time.

But it takes full abandonment and the Holy Spirit to forgive the molester, the murderer, the cheater, the people who hate you and God. It takes the Holy Spirit to overcome your depression, your anxiety, your alcohol addiction, drug addiction, your insecurity, your lack of trust...It takes a higher power stronger than us to do that. 

Here is a perfect demonstration of His resurrection: 

2 Corinthians 4:7-11
New International Version (NIV)

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.


We are molded by Him are
 " Hard pressed on every side,but not crushed; 
perplexed,but not in despair;
persecuted,but not abandoned; 
struck down,but not destroyed."

It's hard to follow Him(He knows that), but it's so rewarding just being able to serve Him! 
I am humbled by the fact that He made me, understands my sin, died for it and rose again so the Holy spirit could guide me in my life, counsel me and free me from my sinful self. How awesome?! And not only that but the Holy spirit is in ALL followers of Christ!

Following Christ isn't just saying a prayer
    " Jesus, come into my heart", It's saying , God i surrender, I don't want to be controlled by my sin, I embrace your gift to me by paying for my sins and I want to live radically changed for you. Lead me, and I will follow.

Living in sin is like being a billionaire, and instead going out into the streets living homeless from garbage can to garbage can , the money untouched. 
We are wealthy in Him, our debt is paid. Stop fighting a fight that's already been won and follow. 
 We don't "accept Jesus" as our Savior... He's the one who accepts us (we are the sinners)... we "embrace" Him!
It's all or nothing. What do you chose?I want to God to use me like Moses, Noah, Abraham, Esther & David in this century... I want to make a difference for His glory,don't you??

 God calls us to take up our cross. A cross symbolizes something heaving and difficult to carry like in the picture. Following Christ isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely worth it in the end. Ask God to strengthen our backs instead of asking to make it lighter.

Military Girlfriend: 7 Tips on Coping With The Distance

Assuming you have a christ centered relationship  and rely on God for your strengths here are some extra helpful tips that make it easier to cope with your loved one being away.

If you want to read how God brought ryan and I together click here: Military Girlfriend


1. Use the time apart wisely,learning how to communicate in a way that others never get a chance to develop. Take advantage of technology & write letters.

2. Don't ever waste your energy wondering if you'll grow apart, or focussing on how much it stinks to be apart. Focus on the blessings that come from waiting and above that, being free. Keep your head up and take one day at a time.

3.Dealing with deployment can seem very one sided at times because your man doesn't have the luxury of catering to your every need. Don't get too hung up on your "rights". If you chose to be committed and faithful to a military man you have chosen to have to be selfless. No act of selflessness is greater  than laying one's life down for another- just be thankful that he is willing to be over there to keep you free.
When you feel the need to fill that void of loneliness and he can't be there, think instead of what you can do for him. He is missing home, he doesn't get to see the beautiful landscaping of America and all of the other luxuries that you get to have. If you feel unloved, sad, or alone get out and do something that makes you feel good. Take time to find things you like to do and get to know yourself as well.

4. No matter how hard it is for you remember that he is probably feeling the same loneliness that you do. He may be busy but he still misses everything about home. Strive to be understanding and accept these rough patches with womanly grace instead of a grieving child.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff by worrying about the pattern of the communication or the lack of  when those times come. Relax and rest in faith knowing that you will eventually get to talk to him and the grace of another opportunity to interact again and get back on course. Kicking in screaming through this isn't going to help anything. Smile with peace.

6.Listen to him, accept him, encourage him, remind him that he's strong, send him packages, give him a break, be the only sunshine that he talks doesn't mean if something is bothering you that you can't tell  him)
Don't weigh him down with unrealistic demands that he somehow be the boyfriend that he could be if he were here in person. learn how to be his friend.

7. take pride in knowing that it takes a strong hearted person and dedication to date in the military and very few can do it. When you are weak, can't hug him, can't kiss him, can't talk to him.... pray for him and rely on God!

Slave vs. Child

When you pray to God do you pray to Him like He is a "foreign creator" or like you would a "father"?

I grew up in a few good churches that showed me the  awesome grace of God and  the gift His son died for to pay for my sins. I embraced Christ as my savior at the young age of 7 and basically did what I was "supposed to" as a Christian since. Being so young I didn't fully understand what it means to be a Christian , Doesn't mean I wasn't one. But it just didn't "click" honestly until this year.  When you are wholeheartedly seeking Christ, you are going to grow spiritually, and He will reveal things to you when He sees fit.

Something I have learned through reading "crazy love" & "Forgotten God" (both by francis chan) is how to have an actual relationship with Christ. Not just praying at the start of my day, but actually centering my life around Him... By  doing that letting Him MOLD ME.

 I have come to the realization that when I was 7 all the way until now, that I have been serving Him out of fear. Afraid of going to hell... afraid of the consequences, so i obeyed. (as most children do think.) This is an example of a slave.

Slave:
Captive
Victim
Drudge

Does that sound like what your relationship with Him is?

Or do you Serve Him out of "love"?

John 14:23-24

New International Version (NIV)

23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

When we are serving Him out of "love" we don't get burned out, and it's not a chore. When you reach that point in your relationship with Him where you pray to Him like a child to a father, He will give you that love and desire.
God is a just God but foremost He is a loving God. When you "fear Him" it should be a fear like you would a father. a Respectful fear.  God is not a foreign creator, if you are a child of God saved by grace He is living IN YOU. He is always there!!! So pray to Him like He is a father(bc He is) and form a relationship, not just a fear of going to hell.

You are His Child.

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When Satan Uses People To Ridicule You

    There are going to be times in your life when satan uses people close to(and distant) to discourage you, ridicule you, to keep you from reaching more people and cripple you from what God is calling you to do.
Keep following Christ ANYWAY!!!  If you are growing in Christ and following what the Holy spirit is telling you, walking in His word and in truth then you be able to tell if it is "constructive criticism" or "satan's discouragement" .

    I had someone(my elder) tell me the other day that I needed to "calm down and relax" in my faith. That I am too excited about it all the time, and that I'm not reaching many people that way. Really broke my spirit. People are going to be full of bad advice.I talk about it all the time and am excited about it because I am learning something new EVERYDAY!!! I am "in love" with Him!!!
 It's new to me everyday! I have been radically changed and I can't stop thinking, thanking, and talking about how awesome He is. And the reason that is, because I ask God for that everyday. I don't want to be lukewarm and comfortable, I want to be on fire, everyday and challenged!!! There is a difference in relaxing, and relaxing in God. Not worrying about what's going to happen because you trust God, and just not worrying about Him at all. Only You and God know your heart, and if it's genuine then He will bless that.

   I believe in everything in moderation, too much of something and too less is dangerous. If you "try too much" to be perfect instead of letting God mold you it's dangerous, but When you let Christ mold you (relax in Him)it is NEVER "too much"... you can NEVER know too much, or grow too much in Christ.. EVER!!! Satan only messes with the powerful ones... remember "If your not running against him, you are running with him" Keep your light shining and live by example!!! (that doesn't mean beating people over the head with your bible and be in their face.) Build relationships with other strong Christians,and lead by example! people will notice your fruits.Love.

Philippians 4:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

1 Peter 4:13-15

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

13 Instead, rejoice as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory. 14 If you are ridiculed for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.[a] 15 None of you, however, should suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or a meddler.[b]

Galatians 5:22-23

New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 6:10-18

New International Version (NIV)

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

What's Your Calling??

     All through highschool you'll have people that come by from colleges who get you out of class just to talk about "what you want to be" and "what college do you want to attend". When I was in highschool I felt led to go into some sort of counseling, So that's what i looked into for a while... I found out that it would take around 6 years of school to have my private practice and being the girl that slept in class and was only worried about the social part of school, I hated school!!! I literally smiled my way through school to get good grades. I was so insecure about being stupid that i refused to try.

       Instead of following what I felt lead to do I decided to go my route and go into cosmetology that would only take 9 months with noooo math!!!!! I went to paul mitchell and observed for a little over a week, but couldn't afford the school so never went. I worked in restaurants as a server and postponed college. 2 years later ,as I pursued God's will for my life again, I felt lead to go into counseling of some sort. So in obedience I went to the 2 year college 5 mins from my house. Got registered all in one day and start my basics in less than two weeks. I'm getting a late start but even though I wasn't obedient to begin with, God can still use me in counseling.

If you ask God to reveal to you your calling, you better be willing to do whatever He throws at you.
I honestly feel like God is not telling me to move just yet, but i do believe when I get closer to my profession that God may send me somewhere outside of my comfort zone. Although I feel like God is calling me to do things here in my hometown, and that He can use me here, it's very important to not get the "holy spirit leading you" confused with "your own superficial peace leading you ". If you think God is not calling you to move just yet ask yourself these questions:

1) How would you be missed if you left the place you are at right now? How would it change? What difference does your presence make there(and in your church)?

2) what would your church look like if everyone was as committed as you are?
If everyone gave, served, and prayed exactly like you, would the church be healthy and empowered???

3) in your work place, do you ooze Christ and set a good example as a hard worker or laziness?

Whatever you are led to do, God did not lead us to sit back and live our lives in comfort of superficial peace.  If you are still alive on this planet, He still has something for you to do.

Ask the Holy spirit for guidance, prepare your heart for it and wait on His timing. In waiting He can mold you and make the best out of your circumstances right now!!

-Foot notes and what i've learned so far in "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan
in Chapter 4 so far.

Just for kicks and giggles:

Me in highschool and me now... just 2 years difference. Amazing how much people change!!

Look How much Ryan has changed (his is a longer time apart).....(he'd kill me if he knew i put this on here) ;) hehe

Am I blessed or what?!!

Being Godly Girlfriend

First and foremost I am not a relationship expert and I am by far from the perfect girlfriend nor ever will be. But I do believe that God has a plan for each of us, and that if we are wholeheartedly seeking Him, that He will bless us with a man the we are perfect for and vise versa. As a struggling 20 year old seeking after Christ here's what I have learned so far about having a Christ centered relationship and the importance of it.

As I've read through the Bible I have discovered that there is really no clear advice on "dating" and steps to be a godly girlfriend.BUT! There is scripture on how to be a godly wife and how to have Christ filled and centered relationships with people. 

Christ centered relationship: Realizing that God created relationships to glorify Him. Your motives should be to bring your boyfriend closer to Christ not to you,in everything that you do together and apart. 

You are a team. And it is important to lift each other up when the other has fallen. So it is important date someone who is equally yoked spiritually. 

        1. Being Confident in who you are in Christ:(i struggle with this one most)  Every girl has insecurities of course, but to a godly man it isn't what you look like that makes you beautiful.The most attractive thing about you is how strong your relationship with Christ is and how you treat others. As emotional women and humans,we want attention from the people we love, but  if we are truly putting God first in our relationship and confident in Him it shouldn't matter if your"getting attention". You are not married yet and God did not give him to you nor you him yet so you have to trust that God has your best interest. 

2. Be the encourager: God made women to be the helper, the encourager. Let the man lead, he is called to be a spiritual leader. To be the encourager we can be a witness by living our lives like we are called to do by God, your fruits will show. And when you feel the need to step up and voice what you believe God wants you to say, pray about it, the Holy Spirit will guide you.

3.Prayer: There is nothing more powerful than praying together, going to church together, talking about Christ together. Be open and be honest about your struggles so that each of you can pray on your own as well for each other. It is just as important to have your own personal relationship alone as it is together.

4. Need him: We need to be independent enough to make our own decisions. But, Guys like to feel needed just like us. They like to feel strong and they like to know that we feel protected by them and that they are doing their job as leaders, and to be truthful we need men. (Don't get that confused with having to have a boyfriend) So if you can't open a jar, let him do it. Can't pick up something let him do it. Little things like that will mean more to him than you'll ever know. Be selfless and give him compliments from the heart because he is a prince from the most high King and should be treated as so( just like you are the princess).

5. Don't tempt him: When i say this i don't just mean sexually...

We are not to tempt him to jealousy, envy,to be selfish, to lose trust..etc.

Jealousy: I decided not to post cute pictures of myself on facebook all the time for my own attention, because honestly before when i did i wanted people to notice me, give me attention and tell me that I was pretty(low self esteem). Who's attention do I really want? Of course I want ryan to be attracted to me but do I really need any other guys attention? Just opens doors for jealousy. (this doesn't mean don't look nice and let yourself go, i'm talking about checking our motives.)

Trust: To gain trust you must prove yourself trustworthy.When I felt like God was leading me to date ryan i decided that if i wanted to really to grow and be serious that it wasn't a good idea to have close guy friends. (I didn't burn any bridges with anyone unless they tried to step over the line). My reason for this was, if ryan and I were to have trouble later on, I feel more comfortable talking to guys. And it would be easier to ask for a guys advice instead of addressing the problem to ryan first. Which leads to more talking, more opportunities for that guy to try to convince you that "he could do better" and that's how some relationships fall apart.Just how it is. You should pray about it, then talk to the person you have a problem with first.

Selfishness: If you are nagging at him all the time always telling him what he is doing wrong and trying to correct everything he does then ask yourself"why do i want him to correct these things?" "is it for my own selfish desires?" When you display selfishness all the time that opens the door for him to be selfish as well. when you are being thoughtful and selfless it's leading by example.

Hope: if you are in a Christ centered relationship you are dating this person because he could possibly be the one you marry. Don't worry him with doubts that "you are afraid he might mess up this" or that "you might mess that". It's a matter of self confidence, trust and knowing that God has everything under control. Put Him first and don't worry about the future, just have hope.

Patience: Your man is not perfect! You will not like EVERYTHING about him forever. And vise versa. So be patient, with love and kindness just like God is with you. If your guy is seeking Christ like he should then Christ will mold him everyday just like He is you. Let the Holy spirit guide you both and again, PRAY!

Love: 

 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Ask yourself each characteristics of Love. "Shelbi is patient? Shelbi is kind?"  Does that describe you? It should.

Relationships take two when you are dating. Most likely, what you do when you date is how it will be when you are married. it's not just 50/50... it's both people giving it 100/100 and by doing that, centering Christ in everything that they do. Everything will fall into place. So pray together, go to church together, read your bible together, encourage each other, love each other. And not just together but apart as well.