Self-Esteem: A Healthy You

Self-Esteem: A Healthy You

Self-Esteem is how each individual values there self. Poor self-esteem (condemning feelings about you) are weights that keep believers under condemnation and cause them to be less than what God intends. Believers are to fight the feelings of inferiority.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us rub with perseverance the race marked out for us.” –Hebrews 12:1

Proper Self-esteem in a follower of Christ is a matter of recognizing and confronting yourself in your humanity, including the tendency of sin, “going astray”.

“For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherded the Overseer of your souls.”- 1 Peter 2:25

It is also a matter of embracing Jesus’ work on the cross-His grace that covers a multitude of sins. The process of comprehending God’s infinite care for the individual-each with unique strengths and weaknesses- puts a perspective of self-esteem.

Psalm 139 expresses the wonder of being uniquely created by God and the  intimate care of His presence at all times, Jesus tenderly described His love for His children.

“Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat, what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? 26. Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27. Can one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28. And why do you worry about the clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor and spin. 29. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon, in his entire splendor, was dressed like one of these. 30. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown in the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? 31. So do not worry saying ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32. For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33. But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. 34. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:25-34

Ways to a healthy self esteem include:

·         Recognize the need of a Savior[Isa 53:6]

·         Accept being “in the One he loves” [Eph 1:6 Rom 8:1]

·         Move forward in God’s plan for your life[Php 3:13-14]

·         Have a realistic view of yourself[Rom 12:3]

·         Avoid comparison to others [2Co 10:12]

A person with healthy self-esteem is marked by these characteristics:

·         Resting on ownership of God[1Co 3:16]

·         Submitting being the “handiwork” of God[Eph 2:10]

·         Appreciating the differences of others[1Co 12:1-31

·         Willingness to take risks, steps of faith[Est 4:13-16]

·         Forging good relationships with others[Ru 1:16-17]

God does not evaluate human worth as we do. He looks to our heart within, while we tend to look only on the outer frame. The heart of a healthy self-esteem is recognizing that “self” must be seen as created for God’s glory. We must be willing to change weakness into strength when possible- and when it’s not possible, we are to look for opportunities for God to be glorified even in our failures and suffering. God does not make mistakes and He is never finished working in us as He continues to refine and edify, Helping each woman reach her maximum potential. Negatives can be changed into positives, and tragedies into triumphs with the saviors touch. He made you worth dying for. 

“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffers a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” -1 Peter 5:10

Erasing Hell

Erasing Hell by: Francis Chan is the new book I am reading.  A book about what is true about Hell and eternal life opposed to what we have made up about it.

As I have been reading this, I have been convicted of not reading my word enough and realized that most of the things that I claim to believe are tradition, and someone else's teaching. Most of the things I believe I couldn't tell you where I read it in the Bible and I couldn't even recall looking it up. The Bible is the only truth and it is a necessity that we read it, Hear it, and act on it. 

Erasing Hell really challenges you to think at the basis and foundation of your faith and decipher what is actual truth and what we have made up. Check out what Francis says about the book:

I pray that I am convicted by the Holy Spirit, that I grow in strides in Him through this study, that I am challenged and not discouraged. And that He helps me understand and open up my heart to His truth and not what I have already preconceived,  Bc after all, we are clay teaching clay without truth. 

Highly encourage you to read this!!!!! The end times are nearer every second of the day, this is information that is not to be skipped over.

Best Advice: Be The Best You

I've had a few emails and FB messages ,from people who know me and who have read my story(blog), asking me what is the best advice I could give them about going through a long distance relationship(deployment) or how I handle my parents' divorce
.As I've pondered  about it for quite sometime I still don't have any clear advice of my own to give, given that I don't really know how I handle it. Saying that meaning, " I just do it (kicking and screaming;))".(Not that my circumstances are oh so terrible.) I try my best to give my troubles to God, and what I have control over I ask for guidance. I may not make the best choices all the time, but I try my very best at whatever I do to let God lead my footsteps.

In reply to my messages here are some pieces of advice I have gotten from tons of wonderful people that God has blessed me with in my life. These are simple but good, maybe this will help you.

Be a leader
  Don't get discouraged when you see your parents, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend,doing things they are not supposed to. Be a leader and lead by a godly example. Be encouraging through actions. You keep being kind, caring, forgiving, loving, and morally good even when no one else is or even seems to notice. God notices and will bless you for that.

 Be your Best
  I wish I was good at gymnastics, but I have horrible knees and I just can't without breaking another ligament. I could thrive on this and get discouraged, but instead I focus on my strengths: I am musically inclined, I can dance, play basketball, I can run really far, I build muscle pretty fast, I have great hair, I'm a people person, I'm creative, and I've been told I am an awesome daughter and girlfriend;)! Instead of focusing on stuff I can't do I focus on my strengths and even improve them. Nothing wrong in trying new things but instead of trying a bunch of things and only being mediocre at them, why not improve your strengths first? God blessed you with unique gifts, appreciate them,use them.

Keep Busy
 One of the worst things to me is feeling lonely. The best thing you can do for you, your love, and your family is keep busy. If you don't you will having nothing to do all day but sit, think, and worry. You will drive yourself crazy as well as them. Do things you love. I like to go fishing, running, church events, girls nights(dinner and a movie), holiday events, local games, coaching basket ball, pick up games etc. 

Quit worrying
  This is the hardest one for me, but I'm getting better:). Don't waste your time worrying about all the bad things that might could happen. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If you are a child of God, He's got you in His hands. Rest assured in that. 

YOU
  There is only 1 you! God made you the way you are for a reason, so be you! You can only be the best you through Him so let Him guide you. He can use you if you let Him. And be happy for others who are doing the same. No need to compare yourself to others bc your are uncomparable. No one is like you.

Bottom line: Pray. Read His word. Love God.Love people. Live Gospel. Enjoy what God gave you.

Wedding Fun!

                         Congratulations To my aunt Joyce and Jeff Bradford!!!!

YOLO

"You Only Live Once"

This year my hometown of Blountsville, has lost 4 kids. Alyssa Huffstutler (19)

, Christian Stipes(17) & Wesley Wescott(20), & Wesley Estes (22). All attended J.B. pennington High School, where i graduated. Too many young lives are going without a warning. We may not understand why God lets these happen ,but we can make sure that the short time we are here isn't wasted.

"YOLO" A common "motto", if you will, in 2012-2013 for young teens and free spirits. YOLO standing for You Only Live Once,Originally coming from the hit song "the motto" by Drake.

The question is "do we really live once?"  This life is temporary(on earth). You move on to your eternity ,which is either Heaven or hell. I have so many people tell me ,"live everyday as your last", but in their minds that means something fantastic everyday like; bungee jump, skydiving, making a bucket list etc. 

Did you ever think that Living everyday as your last actually could be spent sitting still, enjoying What God gave you, being thankful, and living selflessly. 

 God gave us too precious of a gift, Life, a payed debt and freedom of our sin. Too precious to spend our time wasting it on ourselves. When Jesus said in 

James 4:14

English Standard Version (ESV)

14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

He meant Living life abandonment through Him, not necessarily spending a bunch of money, buying anything you want, telling people off you have been bitter towards for years. quitting your job, taking awesome trips, and just thinking about yourself.

He wants us living everyday growing in Him, Having a personal relationship. When you really think about it, living everyday as your last is spending it with the one whom you will spend eternity with. This earthly life is not the only one, and it's short. 

Christ calls us to love others, live selflessly, and die to self. I would rather die knowing that I sacrificed my life for others, helping people, making a difference in someones life and living for the One who created me than be known for how awesome i was at sports, or how pageants or awards i won, and my talents that i didn't even achieve on my own in the first place. 

Skydiving, bungee jumping, rock climbing, nothing is wrong with any of those, but I think we focus so much on how much we can go out with a big bang than really slowing down and living day to day with nothing to lose.

Philippians 1:21

New International Version (NIV)

21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Do we really think like Philippians 1:21? So I encourage you,as I have been convicted myself  We could all go at anytime. I could even be taken up in mid sentence. Or the next hour... Would you be ok with that? Who's life did you impact for the Glory of God? 

Tell people you love them if you love them. If you don't ask God to help you see them the way He does. 
Give people compliments, they are wasted thoughts if not shared. Like that girls shirt? tell her , might make her day. 
God lay someone on your heart? Let them know.
 God has a reason and a purpose for everything and everyone. 
If you are still living and breathing on this earth God still has a purpose for you. I don't care who you are or what you've done, He still wants you here for a reason. Use it wisely, for Him.

Praying For the friends and families of all these precious missed ladies&gentlemen  For peace and strong heartedness  for trust.

Take Up Your Cross, And Follow Me

Luke 9:23

New International Version (NIV)

23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

As I have read "crazy love", "Forgotten God,and taught "follow me" to students, God has revealed to me little by little what it really means to "take up the cross"... living radically changed.

I think in our day to day lives, when the littlest thing goes wrong such as, our car running out of gas, our family dog dying, an angry customer at work, etc. we think that by us "getting trough the day" without throwing a fit is "taking up the cross" and a sacrifice. Which in some cases is, but that's not as sacrificial as having to "love" people who cheat you, "loving" someone who wants to kill you. "forgiving" someone molested you as a child. "Forgiving" the rapist. "Trusting" God ,when you lose your home, your family, your spouse... everything. That is more sacrificial, don't you think?? 

Taking up the cross and following Him means letting the Holy Spirit guide you... surrendering... repenting from your sin..turning away and literally "follow Him".

In today's society(including myself), we tend to get caught up in our fast pace daily lives and "fit" God into our lives. In reality, He is our life... He made us.... He is our air, our spirit, why we are living. And we proceed to say
                                " Jesus, do you want to join the party of my life with this sin, my addictions, this destructive relationship, and we'll  just coexist together??" As if we are asking Him to bless our sins.

Instead of (what it should be):
                    " Jesus, You are the best thing that has happened to me!! I want to turn from all sin and selfishness that rules me. I want to let it go and walk in You! ONLY YOU. You  are my life now. Help me walk away from the enslaving, worthless things in life."
See the difference??  Centering your life around Him.

It doesn't take a great power and forgiveness to get over an angry customer at work, to control road rage, not to cuss, or to simply make it to church on time.

But it takes full abandonment and the Holy Spirit to forgive the molester, the murderer, the cheater, the people who hate you and God. It takes the Holy Spirit to overcome your depression, your anxiety, your alcohol addiction, drug addiction, your insecurity, your lack of trust...It takes a higher power stronger than us to do that. 

Here is a perfect demonstration of His resurrection: 

2 Corinthians 4:7-11
New International Version (NIV)

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.


We are molded by Him are
 " Hard pressed on every side,but not crushed; 
perplexed,but not in despair;
persecuted,but not abandoned; 
struck down,but not destroyed."

It's hard to follow Him(He knows that), but it's so rewarding just being able to serve Him! 
I am humbled by the fact that He made me, understands my sin, died for it and rose again so the Holy spirit could guide me in my life, counsel me and free me from my sinful self. How awesome?! And not only that but the Holy spirit is in ALL followers of Christ!

Following Christ isn't just saying a prayer
    " Jesus, come into my heart", It's saying , God i surrender, I don't want to be controlled by my sin, I embrace your gift to me by paying for my sins and I want to live radically changed for you. Lead me, and I will follow.

Living in sin is like being a billionaire, and instead going out into the streets living homeless from garbage can to garbage can , the money untouched. 
We are wealthy in Him, our debt is paid. Stop fighting a fight that's already been won and follow. 
 We don't "accept Jesus" as our Savior... He's the one who accepts us (we are the sinners)... we "embrace" Him!
It's all or nothing. What do you chose?I want to God to use me like Moses, Noah, Abraham, Esther & David in this century... I want to make a difference for His glory,don't you??

 God calls us to take up our cross. A cross symbolizes something heaving and difficult to carry like in the picture. Following Christ isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely worth it in the end. Ask God to strengthen our backs instead of asking to make it lighter.

Military Girlfriend: 7 Tips on Coping With The Distance

Assuming you have a christ centered relationship  and rely on God for your strengths here are some extra helpful tips that make it easier to cope with your loved one being away.

If you want to read how God brought ryan and I together click here: Military Girlfriend


1. Use the time apart wisely,learning how to communicate in a way that others never get a chance to develop. Take advantage of technology & write letters.

2. Don't ever waste your energy wondering if you'll grow apart, or focussing on how much it stinks to be apart. Focus on the blessings that come from waiting and above that, being free. Keep your head up and take one day at a time.

3.Dealing with deployment can seem very one sided at times because your man doesn't have the luxury of catering to your every need. Don't get too hung up on your "rights". If you chose to be committed and faithful to a military man you have chosen to have to be selfless. No act of selflessness is greater  than laying one's life down for another- just be thankful that he is willing to be over there to keep you free.
When you feel the need to fill that void of loneliness and he can't be there, think instead of what you can do for him. He is missing home, he doesn't get to see the beautiful landscaping of America and all of the other luxuries that you get to have. If you feel unloved, sad, or alone get out and do something that makes you feel good. Take time to find things you like to do and get to know yourself as well.

4. No matter how hard it is for you remember that he is probably feeling the same loneliness that you do. He may be busy but he still misses everything about home. Strive to be understanding and accept these rough patches with womanly grace instead of a grieving child.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff by worrying about the pattern of the communication or the lack of  when those times come. Relax and rest in faith knowing that you will eventually get to talk to him and the grace of another opportunity to interact again and get back on course. Kicking in screaming through this isn't going to help anything. Smile with peace.

6.Listen to him, accept him, encourage him, remind him that he's strong, send him packages, give him a break, be the only sunshine that he talks doesn't mean if something is bothering you that you can't tell  him)
Don't weigh him down with unrealistic demands that he somehow be the boyfriend that he could be if he were here in person. learn how to be his friend.

7. take pride in knowing that it takes a strong hearted person and dedication to date in the military and very few can do it. When you are weak, can't hug him, can't kiss him, can't talk to him.... pray for him and rely on God!